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Mariel's avatar

I really wish there was more emphasis or that someone had just told me sooner that to have an opinion, a perspective, an outlook…. you must first know who you are. That’s it. That was my key. This of course is easier said than done.

It would have help me direct my focus and energy to self discovery a lot sooner, and would have been more productive than the feeble attempts to sound like people I thought smarter. It sounds so obvious now, but for so many years it just wasn’t.

What really helped me is paying attention to how the world affects me and how I affect the world. I don’t know if this helps anyone else. Just sharing what’s worked for me.

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

This really resonates with me Mariel. You have captured one of the core elements behind all of my writing here on Substack. I wish I knew this earlier as well. Thank you so much for this comment. I am saving this one!

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Isabel's avatar

That’s very helpful - and I think that figuring out who we are and what we connect with takes reading and exposure . And the only thing that has really connected us to each other for thousands of years is writing and reading

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

I love that thought that reading and writing are so core to human connection.

It is easy to forget in the internet age.

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Raghav Kannan's avatar

> Chit-chatting, rambling, or making jokes is easy. What’s hard is providing unique insights that deepen someone else’s thinking.

Quite the contrary for me lol

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

Haha, interesting.

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Kiowa craig's avatar

There is some truth in these propositions.

One difficulty is that the sense of who I am, my values, beliefs, goals, worldviews change over time - and I need to stay grounded, stay connected to myself without getting too caught up in other people, places, or things.

I do simply wish to be able to understand the things I care about-whether they be philosophical, political, social or cultural.

Having the right people around, people who are willing to allow me the space to express myself in a supportive way-is also difficult.

I’m trying to redevelop my learning skills, to not just be informed, but to understand and be enlightened on the issues I care about.

Someone once said ‘confidence is not about expressing confidence, but about expressing everything confidently’.

I do hope I can become someone who can express myself clearly enough-yet also having the humility and awareness to admit when I don’t know.

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

Thanks for sharing these thoughts.

I am designing the micro-philosophy framework to help people figure out where they are at, but also be flexible enough to change with them. Additionally, I am trying to help people become better able to communicate their beliefs and values to others in a clear way.

I agree having a community is so critical to this, which is why I am trying to create an online community for those who are missing this in their ordinary life.

There are few things more noble in the world than someone who is committing or recommitting to learning. We live in a world that disincentivizes learning at every turn.

I think you did an excellent job expressing these thoughts clearly, and I find this comment very inspiring.

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Tylney Taylor's avatar

Hmm. The questioner controls the conversation. 🤔

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Sam Rinko's avatar

Such a great article! Wish I had read it before writing my recent article on the relationship between originality and wide reading. Would've given me some more to chew on!

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

Next time!

There will always be another article to read and write.

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Barbara Schutt's avatar

Wonderful article, Paul. Thank you. It is all about our perspectives and our viewpoint. Being able to see different sides to a situation is very important and also brings us compassion for others.

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

Thanks Barbara, I am trying to learn how to do this better as I practice becoming a life coach. It requires really thinking from someone else's perspective.

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Isabel's avatar

The Romans , John Locke , Benjamin Franklin ( many others ) - all believed that a well read and informed person would be a better citizen . The French and Italian had salons. What happened ?

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Paul Musso, PhD's avatar

I think about this often when in my favorite cafe’s.

What happened to the people who spend hours discussing ideas in person?

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Ramiro Blanco's avatar

Another fantastic article. I have the feeling Paul is one of those friends you meet for a cup of coffee, and hours can go by sharing perspectives. Reading his articles makes me even more appreciative of the fact that I have such friends in my life. If not, I'd probably be stalking Paul. We don't want that to happen.

There are so many things to highlight from this post. Here's one of them:

"Most pursuits become harder with age. This one becomes easier."

The beauty of that sentence is that the pursuits that become harder with age are also the least important. Isn't that wonderful? That with age, the important things come with more ease? In a Western culture that obsesses over youth and staying young, this is something we must internalize. I always felt uncomfortable with older people saying, "I feel like I'm still in my twenties."

Such good ideas, and so well written.

Thanks, Paul!

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